Food Porn - Spaghetti Marinara Recipe

Spaghetti Maninara

Ingredients

1 Man, preferably the catch of the day
Spaghetti
Fresh tomatoes, pureed
Onions
Fish pieces
Prawns
Scallops
Basil
Garlic
Black pepper

1 Bottle of white wine

Method

Clean and prepare the man. Do not fillet or remove the bones. Pat dry with a paper towel. Place on stainless steel plate.

Cook the spaghetti according to the instructions on the packet, drain and keep warm. I'm certain you don't want to make it from scratch.

Fry the onion and garlic in olive oil until soft. Add the wine and bring to the boil, then add the scallops and steam until they open. Add the prawns and fish next, and stir until cooked.

Add the tomatoes and the black pepper, then simmer for ten minutes. Keep warm.

Take man off plate, add some of the spaghetti, then lay the man back down on the pasta bed.  Carefully drape the remaining spaghetti over his arms, legs and chest. Wind some around his erect penis until it is almost hidden by semolina.  Test to make sure he is still al dente.

Spoon the seafood sauce over the man. You may attach an open scallop to his penis for comic effect, if you desire.  Consume with a glass of white wine by the sea.

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